Hindsight is 20/20

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I have been told that I am strong. Let me tell you that the thing that keeps me strong is God, although I am super mad at him right now. I try my hardest to be logical and rational about this and not be mad, but I can't help it. I think on a conversation Josh and I had about two months ago. He said he didn't know what he'd do with out me, that I was the glue of our little family. I told him that I'd rather me lose him, than him lose me because I think I could handle it better. And, well, I didn't know that was part of the plan of God. I remember wondering why Josh had gotten sick so much and missed so much work. I now believe with all my heart it was a way for him to actually spend time with us. Out of the last two years, Josh has been sick and out of work seven months. Seven extra months we had to spend quality time. I wish I would have known that because I'd do whatever Josh wanted to do, whether it be go to a ball game (I don't like to sweat and I dont' like gnats), or just ride down some back roads.

So, I guess what I'm getting at is, I'm thankful for those seven months. We went on many trips to the Mayo Clinic, The Shriner's Hospital in Tampa, and even just hung around the house for "Family Night". Even though his health wasn't good, his time was. I miss him more and more each day, but the more I look back at our ten years of sharing our life with each other, I see how things worked their way out. Hindsight is 20/20.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Y2icHOgC5U

Comments

  1. Karen (Veach) NicholsApril 19, 2014 at 12:44 PM

    It is funny how God works things out, teaching us the lessons we need without us realizing it... then sending Angels in many forms to help us with the quick part of the transition...
    You, my dear daughter, are one of the lucky ones... you "see" a part of God's plan by back and up... by getting down on your knees when you can no longer stand... you gave God the ability to grant the "wish"... to be the strong one... to be the glue... and to see the part of the puzzle that is complete...
    Love and continued comfort of heart and peace to your mind... Momma

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