Widow

*Just some ramblings about what's going on inside my head.

Mother. Sister. Best Friend. Widow. These are words that describe me. They are labels that go hand in hand with my name, but I don't like titles. I am a mother, yes, one hell of one. I am a sister-the best. I am a best friend and do an awesome job at it. Widow-this one really gets me. Technically I am a widow, however, I don't want that title to consume my existence. Yes, my husband died; however, his spirit still lives in my heart. I will forever love Josh and all the silly things we did-his stupid penguin walk, his deep southern draw, his compassion and intimacy he showed. Although I will never see him again in physical form, I know I see him in spiritual. He visits me, tells me he's ok and that he wants me to be happy. So that my friends, is what I'll do. I'll do what it takes to be happy. I'll love my children and always put them first. I will make sure they are taken care of, because that makes me happy. I will call on my friends when I'm having a bad day because I know they can make me smile. As hard as it is, I will continue to live a life that Josh was denied. I will do my best to leave this world a better place. I don't want to be called a widow anymore, because after it's all said and done, I'm a woman, a lady; and that's what I'll continue to always be.

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